Amygdala

There was pandemonium in downtown Ciudad Juarez yesterday when a bus containing 43 innocent Mexicans arrived safely at its final destination. According to police chief Henrique Guapo del Muerte, “No-one has seen anything like this since 2006. Nowadays if we do not find the passengers bound with their own intestines and beheaded by the roadside, or buried in a mass grave and unidentifiable because of the charring, we suspect everyone of being in league with the traffickers and we kill them ourselves. I cannot understand how these people are still alive.”

Relatives of one passenger, nun Soledad Morales, wept as they described the moment the bus pulled in. “It was like the sunrise. The bus rolled in through the doors glowing gold with the blessing of our Lord. Or it may have been the fluorescent lighting in the main shed. When we saw our sister, we fell to our knees to give thanks. Nuns are often targeted because the traffickers do not want God to see what they are doing. Also, we sell the cocaine she brings in the main square and it is our only livelihood now that we have spent our last pesos on hospital treatment for my mother.”

As the bus pulled away, onlookers were thrown to the ground by an enormous explosion. One, stunned when the driver’s head flew into his chest, sighed with relief: “Thank God everything is back to normal. Of course I was happy to see the bus. But not to know if a bus will or will not arrive – that is truly stressful. At least now we can get on with our lives.”